When it comes to choosing someone as a potential romantic partner I know that I use all of the filters that were discussed in the filtering theory. I didn't realize that I use all of these concepts until I read this chapter. The four filters described in this theory are sociological or incidental, preinteraction, interaction, and cognitive cues. Sociological or incidental cues are described as demographic or environmental factors that determine probability. Some of these factors include where the other person lives or works and how frequently we travel. Physical proximity is how close or far apart people live from each other. Preinteraction cues are all about how we use nonverbal impressions to determine if we want to interact with with others. This includes body type, physical beauty, dress, and so on. Interaction cues occur when we have made initial contact with the other person. Cognitive cues say that the strongest factors in creating a solid, long-lasting relationships are psychological.
Duck's theory makes complete sense to me. I use all four of these factors when it comes to choosing someone as a potential romantic partner. I know I use the preinteraction cues to decide if I'm attracted to someone physically. I use the sociological or incidental cues and physical proximity to decide if the relationship would be worth it. If someone lives far away or travels a lot it is definitely more difficult to have a relationship with that person. Cognitive cues is also a big deciding factor for me. I need to have a strong mental connection with someone if the relationship is going to work for me.
I know that I have used the sociological cues to eliminate someone. In fact I used it with my current boyfriend who I have been dating for the past 3 years. We live an hour away from each other. When I first met him I was very attracted to him. We hit it off right away. We both knew that we were attracted to each other but the one thing that stopped us from dating right away was the distance between us. After about a year or being just friends we decided to not let the distance between us ruin something that could be really special. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
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I agree with you about how sociological or incidental cues are a strong force in the elimination process. I can't even count how many people I know who have strived to make relationships work long-distance, and the strain that it can have on even a friendship. I remember when I was in high school, I had the best friend who happened to live across the street. We had grown up together and spent almost every free waking moment playing games and hanging out. I live in Fremont, and she ended up moving to Pleasanton. Even though Pleasanton is only a half an hour away from me, our friendship was nearly diminished within a year. We still keep contact on occasion, but the impact of her not living across the street anymore changed our entire relationship. I'm really glad to hear that you were able to overcome the strain of distance, I'm sure you know it's not the easiest thing to do!
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